Christmas Wish Lists

As has been done by other blogs, I feel the Mariners players have certain christmas gifts that must be given. Sorry for belating it, guys. Let's start from the top...

Ichiro - Year supply of turtlenecks and GQ subscription.

Jose Vidro - Hometown Buffet $50 gift card, Star Wars Episode VI (sentimental value.)

Richie Sexson - New amendment demoting Mendoza line to .100.

Raul Ibanez - '06 memories.

Yuni - The imminent croaking of Fidel Castro.

Kenji - Extra-protective gear, which covers every square inch of his body which has any chance in hell of taking a hit.

Jamie Burke - Fountain of youth, career HR #2.

Ho - Surgically removed left arm, likely to be replaced by something useful.

JJ - Angus Young outfit introduced as "Throwback-Alternate Uniforms."

Jose Lopez - Lower, more realistic expectations.

Adrian - Eternal love of Red (how coincidental, his last 4 christmas presents as well!)

Willie Ballgame - Love/hate relationship with all Mariners fans. Emphasis on the slash which seperates the values.

King Felix - Ben Broussard traded to prevent freakish yet harmful injuries to team as whole.

Jeremy Reed - ... is still on our team?

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Chappy Channuka everyone!